I could hear the catch in her voice. The anger. The sadness. She was pissed. Hurt. Done. She came to work with me as her marriage was ending. Years of trying. Of therapy. Of work. And the marriage still ended. She lamented the wasted time. The energy. All she had done…all they had done…she was exhausted. Yet here she was, at the bottom of a mountain. Knowing that the climb was the opportunity. There was an old her she was ready to shift. There was an new her ready to embody. She knew this. But she didn’t want to do it. She wanted to run away. Hide. Make everything numb. She railed at path ahead of her, wishing for completion.
The beliefs about her worthiness…about her ability to be loved, had loomed large in her life. These where core issues for her. Deep in her being. She was ready let it go, but beginning was a daunting task.
I waited until she stopped crying to begin. “This is a privilege. You are only here in this moment, to do this work because you have done everything else that needed to be done. You have primed the pump. You have walked the path. This is not easy. But make no mistake, it is a privilege.”
The words sank in. Her breath steadied. She grounded herself. She made it clear that she was not willing to live the rest of her life living in the lie of her lack of worth. She knew more than ever, this moment was hers. Hard fought. She was not going to let it go without living it to the fullest. In that moment, the story of who she was began to change.
We spoke last week and she reflected on her journey. On who she is now. The willingness to let begin. To own the right and privilege of her path. She held her former resistance tenderly, loving who she was way back then. She smiled at the thought of her new love. Her new job. Her desire to stand forward in her truth. Life is good. Great. Because she recognized the sacred opportunity and took it with gusto.
(this piece was written with permission of my client. Any identifying details were changed).
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